crimson + clover: . a hard recovery .

some of you may wonder why I'm sharing this

it's a little TMI

{you've been warned...you can stop reading now if you want}

but many of you were praying for us, without any detail

{how to share news like this on facebook without sounding over dramatic?}

and I wanted to share what you were praying for

and how it was answered

so after indie was born it took them 30 minutes to get my placenta out

they were afraid to tug too hard because they didn't know if it was attached to the scar of my previous c-section

so they finally got it out, and I was really swollen from her coming so fast and being so big

I had just gotten to hold her when I started hemorrhaging pretty bad and pretty much passed out

the doctors were great and took care of it pretty fast

they kept me in the intensive care that night

and everything seemed fine the next day so I got moved to a regular recovery room soon after and then discharged in a regular time frame

I was feeling great, my mom flew in, indie was a great nurser and sleeper

then a week after she was born

I was nursing indie at about midnight, talking with Brian and my mom and I started bleeding very heavily and it wasn't stopping

so we had to call an ambulance and they took me to the ER

{Brian had to follow me to the hospital. the little dignity I had left after all the gross stuff that comes with giving birth was having 4 firemen take my stats while I'm sitting on a toilet bleeding (sigh) }

praising the Lord my mom was there

but I felt so bad for her, we left her with what looked like a murder seen, and she was left alone with a newborn and two sleeping girls upstairs

but thankfully the bleeding stopped on its own and they found that I had retaining tissue from the delivery.

this happens to about 6% of women, so to all my pregnant friends out there, don't be afraid!!

they said it was probably caused by the fact that it was my 3rd child so my uterus wasn't has tight and strong to do it's job, and that indie was so big and came so fast

so they scheduled me for a D&C to get it all out and sent me home

the D&C was supposed to be a 30 minute out patient procedure

but I started hemorrhaging during that too

I hate saying it, but with each of these times, I could have died.

it just sounds so dramatic, but that's the case

they almost had to do a hysterectomy, but fortunately they were able to stop the bleeding again

I had lost so much blood, they had to give me 2 units and kept me there over night

{right before the big ordeal}

with each of these times, we had to deal with some serious conversations about what if I died. God really does give you grace to go through the hard trials. I didn't even get emotional until after they told me I was fine! Before that I was just praying that if I had to die, that God would use it somehow to bring my girls to salvation and that He would give Brian the strength to raise 3 girls.

again, thankfully, my mom was able to stay with indie and my in-laws were able to watch the girls while I recovered.

I'm so thankful to God for sparing my life.

For all you faithful family and friends that took care of our kids and prayed for us.

For the emails, texts, phone calls full of encouragement

For our church family providing meals.

For Brian's co-workers for giving him time off to take care of me and covering his classes for him.

Especially for Brian, his unconditional love for me, dropping everything to take care of me, staying up late at night talking with me in the hospital, encouraging me when I was overwhelmed, taking care of our babies when I was too weak or supposed to be resting, I love you