I Hate Fevers!

little baby tare bear has a fever

it started yesterday and has refused to leave today

I hate that every time I see a temp over 99 I think of this:

Crimson doesn't have a bladder infection {almost certain} and the chances of her getting one are the same as any normal baby, which is slim
this is the first high fever our family has had, unrelated to a bladder/kidney infection

and my mind always takes me back to what we've been through
and I immediately feel my heart pounding in my head and chest and I get into my crazy, smelling diapers, checking temp every 20 minute, neurotic mommy mode
It's a roller coaster of:
fear, trusting in the Lord, anxiety, prayer/peace, then back to fear, trusting the doctor, not trusting the doctor
.... and on and on!

so what if we had to go to the hospital?! That's okay, God is good and we've done it plenty of times before
and the Lord has always brought us through while teaching me and growing me in so many ways!

but this fever we're fighting now is not going away {yet}
Ah what a spiritual struggle Im going through!

And it draws me to my knees....

Thank you Lord for the continued health of Clover's kidneys
Thank you that it has been almost a year since we've been in a hospital
Thank you that it's been almost 2 years since the last bladder infection
Thank you for 2 healthy baby girls who've never had anything more than a cold, illness-wise
Thank you God for the things you've taught me, to trust in you and your will. And for the reminders that you're sovereign and good. all. the. time.